rants for the day

There are times when people mean well, and mean to help, but come across a little patronizingly. For me, this happens a lot when people feel the need to translate very basic words into English. Last Friday night, I popped into the BOE office to ask for the key to the room we use for evening classes. The lady who got the key for me said “eikaiwa desu ka? Kodomo? Children? [more, chirudoren]” Yes, I do understand the word “kodomo” after a year’s study, thank you.
Just now, at lunch time with the first and second grade class, the teacher asked me if I knew how to use chopsticks. It’s the oldest gaijin story in the book, people being surprised that you can use chopsticks, but after more than a year at this school, it was a little shocking to be asked. I think I was holding them improperly for a moment, so apparently I needed a remedial chopstick-holding lesson. The boy next to me even said, “copy him,” pointing to another boy expertly eating. As long as I can get the food from the bowl to my mouth, who cares? I ignored the lesson, mostly out of spite. Maybe I was holding them in a Chinese style, or something equally shocking. Finally, one of the boys told me I was rinsing my milk bottle incorrectly.
And for my final rant: yes, Christmas is in summer in Australia. No, we do not think Santa rides a surfboard. I am quite sure that this image was either a) invented by creative Japanese minds putting two and two together and getting five, or b) a bored exchange student making up crap about Australia for a cheap laugh. Santa – surfboard – NO.
These are some things I will not miss when I leave Japan.